


Get Lost with Me

by finsouls



Category: LOONA (Korea Band), TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Road Trip, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, mentions of other members - Freeform, odd tourist attractions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28632696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finsouls/pseuds/finsouls
Summary: Mina likes plans, she likes being prepared for what's to come, but nothing had prepared her for a cross country road trip with Jinsol, her best friend she's been in love with for years. But maybe this road trip is all she needs to finally confess.
Relationships: Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Myoui Mina
Comments: 18
Kudos: 53





	1. Mina

**Author's Note:**

> i wanna thank eli for this idea and for listening to me ramble about it for a while now. thanks for always supporting me bro, ily
> 
> Note: all of these locations are real and i have visited none of them except through google images and other searches. any inaccuracies just...suspend your disbelief.

**Mina:**

Fresh out of college. Fancy piece of expensive paper with her name on it from a prestigious art school and an adult job waiting for her across the country. Mina had every intention of taking a quick flight to New York City to start her dream job at a ballet company. She wanted to spend her last summer before diving into adulthood head first with her best friend, Jinsol. A summer spent binging trashy shows on tv, kicking Jinsol’s ass in Mario Kart, and pretending like they wouldn’t be going their separate ways after being glued to each other’s side since freshmen orientation. 

Mina had been a quiet freshman, hiding in the back of their group, and Jinsol had taken it upon herself to befriend her. It didn’t take much and it didn’t take long for them to become fast friends, which everyone else found odd since they’re opposites in so many ways. 

Jinsol is loud, messy, and would much rather wear the same baggy t-shirt and jeans than bother dressing up for anyone. Or anything for that matter. Mina, on the other hand, is quiet, organized, and dresses like she’s ready for a photoshoot at any second. And Jinsol is more than happy to take her pictures. Mina swears that Jinsol’s camera roll is full of pictures of her, alongside clips of the music she makes. 

How they work as friends, Mina isn’t too sure, but she knows it does work. In the years she’s known Jinsol, she’s come further out of her shell and Jinsol has...well, she’s still messy but at least it didn’t spill over onto Mina’s side of the room anymore. 

So, leave it to Jinsol to take Mina’s quick and easy flight to New York and turn it into a chaotic trip across the country.

“I’m just saying,” Jinsol points her chopsticks at Mina as they’re eating dinner in their shared apartment, “You’re leaving me to chase your dream, which is great! Kudos to you. But we’re going to make the most out of our last summer together.” 

“Sol, I’m not going to the other side of the world,” Mina shakes her head and takes a bite of rice. 

“It feels like it! But that’s not my point.” 

“What is your point then?” 

“My _point_ is that we can’t do the same shit we’ve been doing for the last four years. That’s too easy, too typical, we need to end our friendship with a _bang_ ,” Jinsol hits the table for emphasis making their drinks spill. “Oops.” 

Mina laughs and passes her the paper towels. “Our friendship isn’t ending, stop being dramatic.” 

Jinsol whines, “I won’t have immediate access to my best friend, it feels like the end of an era.”

Mina watches Jinsol clean up the spilled drinks, tossing the paper towels across the room and somehow getting them into the trash can with a whoop. She turns back to Mina with a grin. 

“We can start a new era.” 

Jinsol pouts, “You just don’t want me to ruin your carefully planned summer.” 

“It is not carefully planned,” Mina rolls her eyes, but she knows Jinsol is right, in a way. It’s not really planned out, but she got comfortable with the usual plans of just hanging out. Nothing big or grand. Simple. Mina likes simple. Easy to control and maintain. 

But the pout on Jinsol’s face is making her want to throw that all away. It always does. 

She sighs, “I’m _not_ saying we’re gonna do what you want, but what did you have in mind?” 

Jinsol bounces in her seat, her pout flipping to a wide Cheshire-like smile, “One word: roadtrip!” 

“Pretty sure that’s two words…” 

“Mina,” Jinsol pushes out of her chair and pulls Mina to her feet. She holds Mina’s hands tightly in hers, her body jittering with excitement. “Road. Trip. Think about it. You, me, the open road. Tourist traps and bad rest-stop food.”

“Ah, I dunno, Sol…” Mina looks away, training her eyes on anything but the pouty, hopeful face Jinsol is giving her. “It’s expensive…” 

“You and I both know our savings can handle it,” Jinsol tugs Mina’s attention back to her. “Your parents got us this apartment. We both worked day and night on top of our school work. We can afford cheap hotels and gas. Give me a real reason and I’ll let it go.” 

The real reason? Mina isn’t sure she can spend that many days alone with Jinsol without acting on the feelings she’s long since repressed. There’s always been friends or other partners or obligations that kept Mina from doing anything about it. And fear, there’s that too. She likes simple things and plans and Jinsol had never been a part of either of those categories. Yet, somehow, Mina still fell in love with her. 

A few weeks, or more, in a car with just Jinsol, nothing else to distract her from the one thing she’s wanted for years seems like a disaster waiting to happen. 

But Mina has never been able to say no to Jinsol. Not when she looks at Mina with a gentle smile and bright eyes. Not really ever. 

“Okay,” she finally says. 

“Okay?”

“Yes, I said okay,” Mina yanks her hands away from Jinsol and plops back down onto her seat. “Now can I finish my food?” 

Jinsol throws her arms around Mina’s shoulders, and buries her face into Mina’s neck, past the curtain of long blonde hair. “I love you! You’re the best.” 

“Yeah, I’ve heard that before,” Mina mumbles, but hugs Jinsol back, thankful her blush is hidden from view. “I love you, too.” 

“I can’t wait to start planning!” Jinsol jumps back up and dashes out of the room, “I have so many ideas!” 

“Wait, Jinsol, you left—” Mina slumps in her seat, looking at the turned over cups and food piled on plates — “a mess.... Guess I’ll clean up.” 

  
  


* * *

Mina agreed, of course, to this ridiculous road trip idea of Jinsol’s, but only if Jinsol let her pick the stops. She did it under the guise that Jinsol is making her change her entire plan, including a non refundable plane ticket she booked months ago. But Mina should’ve known that Jinsol would come up with her own stipulations too. 

“Condition one: we go see the giant dinosaurs first,” Jinsol says one morning while they’re laying on Mina's bed. “They’re close by and there’s a gift shop _inside_ the dinosaur, Mina. A _gift shop_ . How many times can you say you’ve been _inside a dinosaur_?”

“None,” Mina mutters as she runs her fingers through Jinsol’s hair. 

“None!” Jinsol says at the same time. “We go there and you can say you’ve been inside a dinosaur at _least_ once.” 

“What’s the other condition?” 

“That I get to throw your planned stops out the window if they suck.” 

Mina frowns, pushing Jinsol’s head off her lap. “Suck? They’re not gonna suck.” 

“I said if,” Jinsol shrugs. “But you do have a habit for picking—You’re just predictable.” 

“I like—”

“Simple, routine, comfort. I know,” Jinsol smiles at Mina, “but the adventure isn’t in the same shit, it’s in taking a different path.”

“I didn’t sign up for an adventure,” Mina sighs and relaxes back into her bed.

“You signed up for one when we became best friends,” Jinsol lays her head back into Mina’s lap. She takes Mina’s hand and drops it into her hair, her obvious signal that she wants Mina to play with her hair again. Jinol stares up at Mina, a playful twinkle in her eyes, “Get lost with me.”

Mina only hums, going back to her previous motions of raking her fingers through the dark tresses of Jinsol’s hair. There’s a familiarity in the motion, in the position they’re in now. One they go back to whenever they’re together. Mina finds comfort in Jinsol’s presence, even when they’re not the only ones in a room. Having her there makes her feel bolder, braver, like things don’t need to be simple or routine to make her feel safe. 

“Dinosaurs first,” Mina says after a few minutes. She watches a sleepy smile spread across Jinsol’s face. “But you can only change the plan if I agree.”

Jinsol reaches up and intertwines her hand with Mina’s, “Deal.”

It isn’t long until Jinsol is fast asleep on Mina, their hands still clasped together. Mina’s used to it. Jinsol works at a 24hour singing diner near their school. As much as Jinsol hates the work — which she consistently tells Mina when she gets home just as Mina is waking up — she rakes in tips with her voice. Though Mina is sure that Jinsol’s beauty helps with the tips, too. Still, every morning Jinsol drags herself through Mina’s bedroom door smelling like french fries and burgers, and collapses into an exhausted heap on top of her. 

She’s not complaining though. It’s a nice way to wake up, talking quietly with Jinsol in the early mornings as the sun finally breaks over the horizon. Sure, it’s made her late to class or work on a few occasions, but that’s a small price to pay for those moments with Jinsol. 

As Jinsol mumbles softly in her sleep, Mina scrolls through the browser on her phone, looking for some fun attractions to visit on their trip. She won’t admit it to Jinsol yet, but she’s excited. They used to talk about a road trip all the time with their friends Sooyoung and Nayeon. They’d dream up routes that hit the major cities or national wonders. Mina always liked the idea of seeing some of those locations with her friends, with Jinsol. The idea of endless hours in the car, windows down, and the radio playing loudly as they chase the sun across the country. Or even across the state. 

She likes her routines, likes knowing what’s going to come next, but those uncertainties have never seemed daunting when Jinsol is the one beside her. 

Nayeon teases her about it, especially because Mina wouldn’t follow her into a wild adventure without knowing the plan. But that’s because Nayeon is a little chaotic and unpredictable, Mina really doesn’t know where their adventures will take them, and on the few occasions she’s taken the risk with Nayeon, it did not end well. She’s thankful they became friends with Sooyoung because she’ll go along with Nayeon’s plans, allowing Mina to avoid the handcuffs that usually come with them.

Jinsol stirs in her lap, a yawn falling from her mouth. Mina sets down her phone and smiles at her, “Afternoon, sleepy head.” 

“What time is it?” Jinsol rubs her eyes and blinks slowly up at her. 

“Almost one.” 

“Oh, my god, Mina, you have class soon!” Jinsol jolts upright and tumbles off the other side of the bed. A groan of pain floats up from the floor. 

Mina laughs and rolls over to look at Jinsol. The younger woman lays on the floor with her arm thrown over her eyes. “You good?” 

“Dandy,” Jinsol gives her a weak thumbs up. “What about your class?” 

“Sol, we graduated. We don’t have class anymore,” Mina smiles softly, shaking her head. 

“Right, I knew that.” Jinsol peaks out from behind her arm, the corner of her lips twitching up, “In that case, wanna make me waffles?” 

Mina tosses a pillow onto Jinsol, but still climbs off her bed and walks toward the kitchen, “Anything else you want, your majesty?” 

“Some love would be nice!” Jinsol calls after her. 

“Fresh out of that, sorry!” Mina laughs when she hears Jinsol’s quick steps toward her. 

She crosses her arms and pouts at Mina, “You are never out of love for me.” 

“You slept on me for more than six hours, I can’t feel my legs. I’m outta love for today, check in tomorrow,” Mina says, rummaging through the cabinets for her ingredients. 

When she turns around she finds Jinsol slumped in the chair at the counter, pout still firmly in place. “I’ll be checking in promptly at midnight. Even if your ass is asleep.” 

“Hasn’t stopped you from bothering me before.” 

“Get used to it, babe, it’ll just be me and you in a month cruising down the highway!” Jinsol grins and snatches a chocolate chip from the bag Mina just set out. 

“Speaking of that,” Mina slides the bag closer to Jinsol as she starts to put the ingredients together, “Since you wanted to get this road trip going so fast, you’re gonna need to help me pack.” 

Jinsol scrunches her face in protest, “That’s not fun.” 

Mina stops mixing, “Do you want the waffles or not?” 

“Packing sounds like a _blast_ ,” Jinsol feigns excitement and takes another couple chocolate chips. “You tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” 

“Mhm, suck up.” 

“You may be out of love today, but I’ve got plenty to give you,” Jinsol smiles brightly. Mina scrunches up her face and focuses on mixing the ingredients to hide her blush. She breathes deeply a few times to calm her heart. After all these years, she’d think Jinsol wouldn’t have this effect on her still. Yet, here she is blushing like a schoolgirl. 

“Shut up and help me make these waffles,” Mina gestures to the stove behind her. 

“Last time I helped I burnt them all…” Jinsol walks around the counter toward Mina anyway. 

“Well, you’re gonna have to learn how to not burn things when I’m not here to cook for you anymore.” Mina watches Jinsol’s smile waver. “I—”

“Guess you better get to teaching then, we have a lot of ground to cover,” Jinsol says quietly, holding up the pan in one hand. Neither acknowledge the weight in the air. Instead, reverting back to their usual banter as they cook, and burn, some of the waffles. Mina can feel the reality that they won’t be together in a few months crashing down on them. For four years they’ve been right across the hall from each other, even in the same room while in college. Now they’ll be on opposite coasts, living separate lives. It’s a reality that Mina doesn’t want to accept just yet. 

* * *

A month flies by like it’s nothing. Their apartment is packed up, their belongings separated and shipped to the desired location to be stored in the moving companies storage facility. Mina has Jinsol to thank for finding such a convenient company to use for their situation. Her belongings will be safe in the facility for when she arrives in New York and can be delivered when she gets there. Jinsol’s stuff is just being sent up to her parents house while she figures out her next move after getting Mina to New York. 

Everything is in place. Boxes shipped. Apartment rented. Road trip planned. All they need to do is— 

“—Get on the road, Mina! Let’s go!” Jinsol yells, honking the horn of the camper van parked outside of their apartment. 

“Jinsol, what the fuck is that?” Mina gapes at the large silver van. “This is not what we discussed…” 

“Okay, so I went to the rent-a-vehicle place you told me to go to,” Jinsol says as she hops out of the van and walks toward Mina. “But, then I saw _this baby_. So I told the salesperson—” 

Mina’s eyes widen, “You _bought it_?” 

“No! I dunno what to call them, the worker? Not the point.” Jinsol waves her friend off. “I upgraded to this camper van instead of the SUV you wanted. It’s about the same on mileage, has a hot plate, seating, tables, a wet bath, and a fold out bed! So, it makes things a little easier for us since we can save on food and lodging and—why are you looking at me like that?” 

Mina hadn’t realized her expression had shifted from skepticism toward a gentle fondness that only Jinsol could evoke from her. While she had carefully planned the trip, including stops to sleep and eat with the SUV she intended on renting, Mina can see that Jinsol’s intention had only been to make things simpler for her. 

Plus, seeing how excited Jinsol is to show her the van makes her heart swell. 

“No reason, you’re just sweet,” Mina hugs Jinsol tightly, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Jinsol grins happily. 

“Wait ‘til you see the inside!” Jinsol pulls on the handle of the back door and bounces excitedly as the door slides back on its own. She turns to Mina and takes her bags, but pauses. “What are you wearing?”

“...Clothes?” Mina looks down at her outfit; a black sleeveless top and a black-and-white vertical striped skirt with a pair of heels. “Does it not look good?”

“No, you look beautiful as always, but we’re gonna be in this van for _hours. How_ is that comfortable?”

Mina shrugs, “It just is.” 

Jinsol laughs, tugging at her baggy t-shirt, “You make me look like a slob.” 

“I think you look cute,” Mina pushes past Jinsol and peers into the Van. “And this is cute too. Small space to sleep though.” 

“Good thing we cuddle all the time then,” Jinsol says as she climbs into the driver's seat again. “Ready to go?”

Taking one last glance at the back of the van, and the small spot they’ll likely be sleeping together, Mina closes the door and climbs into the passenger seat. 

“To the dinosaurs?” Mina types the address into her phone maps and sets it up on the mount on the dashboard. 

“To Dinny and Mr. Rex!” Jinsol cheers as she pulls out of her makeshift parking space. 

“Of course you know their names,” Mina laughs. Her arm rests on the center console and Jinsol, like she has for the past four years, slides her hand into Mina’s grasp. 

“I did my research, too, Minari,” Jinsol glances over at her with a smile. “You’re not the only one who knows how to plan things.” 

Mina rolls her eyes, sticking her tongue out at Jinsol in jest. It earns her a melodic laugh that lights up Jinsol’s face. “If you did your research, tell me about these dinosaurs—” 

“Dinny and Mr. Rex.” 

“Tell me about Dinny and Mr. Rex,” Mina’s lips curl at the corners despite her sigh. 

“Dinny is a 150-foot long Brontosaurus and Mr. Rex is a 65-foot tall T-Rex,” Jinsol recites excitedly as they veer onto the highway. Mina watches Jinsol’s face as she talks, taking in the gleeful look in her eyes and the animated hand movements as she explains the history behind the roadside attraction. 

The windows are down and the sun is shining as it climbs into the sky. Mina knows, at least for right now, what’s going to happen next. And with Jinsol’s hand in hers, she feels calm as they barrel toward the first stop on their adventure. 

* * *

A little over an hour later, Mina and Jinsol park at the Cabazon Dinosaurs roadside attraction. Jinsol is practically bouncing in her seat the moment her eyes find the giant dinosaurs awaiting her. 

“They’re so much bigger than I imagined!” Jinsol cuts the engine to the camper van and hops out of the car, ready to race off toward the dinosaurs. 

Mina climbs out more gracefully, shutting the door softly before joining Jinsol in the lot. Jinsol locks the camper van and laces her hand with Mina’s, already dragging her toward the dinosaurs with unbridled enthusiasm. 

“Slow down!” Mina huffs, struggling to keep up with her friend. 

“Maybe if you dressed for the occasion,” Jinsol grins over her shoulder, but slows down anyway. 

“I can run in these heels, I tested that, but you’re yanking me around.” 

“You were taking too long,” Jinol shrugs as they make it to the area where the dinosaurs are standing. Both loom over them with their paint faded from the summer sun. Jinsol lets go of Mina’s hand and steps away. Mina hates that she misses the contact the moment it's gone, but the feel disappears when Jinsol spreads her arms wide with a grin, “Meet Dinny and Mr. Rex!” 

She laughs, lifting her camera to snap a picture of Jinsol. “You look like a dinosaur trainer right now.” 

“Maybe I am,” Jinsol walks back over to Mina with a sly smile. “Maybe that’s actually where I go during the night when you think I’m working.”

“Then why do you smell like greasy food every time you come home?” 

“That, my dear, is a secret,” Jinsol boops Mina on the nose and links their hands back up. “Now, we _have_ to climb up Mr. Rex and then check out the gift shop in Dinny.” 

Mina tilts her head up and takes in the massive form of Mr. Rex. Through its teeth Mina can see hands waving to the people down below. She can’t imagine how small the space inside the dinosaur is, but she knows Jinsol is excited to explore. 

Jinsol squeezes her hand and offers her a soft smile, “I’m sure the view will be great up there. Come on.” 

With a gentle tug, Mina follows after Jinsol admiring the way the afternoon sun makes her dark hair seem almost blue. And when Jinsol looks over her shoulder with the same smile that Mina swears is only meant for her, she knows that no matter how long she’s had these feelings for Jinsol, they may never go away. Not when she’s right there all the time. Not when Jinsol has done nothing to hurt her, to make her fall out of love. If anything, over the years, Mina has just been on a slippery slope of falling. 

Sometimes she thinks she likes the feeling. The feeling of being suspended in air, of the warm tendrils that spread throughout her chest when Jinsol so much as looks at her, of the thought, the tiny inkling of hope, that Jinsol may feel the same. But even if she didn't, Mina would never hate her for that, never hold that against her. She feels happy enough knowing she got this time with her. 

Mr. Rex has a long red walkway that leads up to his thigh that lets them into the body of the t-rex. Mina isn’t too happy with the prices to just climb up a dinosaur, but she isn’t going to ruin this moment for Jinsol. She can’t be sour about it for too long because the smile that breaks across Jinsol’s face is more than worth it. And maybe Mina is smiling just the same, too. 

They have to duck a little once in the mouth of the t-rex just to see between the teeth, but the view is worth it. Sunlight illuminates that mountains and valleys in the distance, making everything seem simultaneously bigger and smaller all at once. Like Mina could reach out and touch it if she dared to.

There’s something about being up this high, in the mouth of a dinosaur — a place Mina never thought she’d be to begin with — that leaves her breathless. 

“And now you can say you’ve been in a t-rex’s mouth,” Jinsol whispers next to her, one hand still firmly in Mina’s.

“It’s beautiful,” Mina whispers back. A quiet calm washing over her when she turns to look at Jinsol. “Thank you.” 

“For dragging you into a dinosaur? That’s a new one,” Jinsol grins with a tilt of her head. She nudges Mina with a knowing look, “You’re welcome.”

They’re so close in the small space of the dinosaur's jaw. Mina can practically feel Jinsol’s heartbeat, though maybe it’s just her own thrumming louder than usual. A million thoughts race through her head but they all halt at the one that’s daring Mina to just kiss Jinsol.

“I wanna see!” A kid whines from below, breaking Mina out of the spell. 

“Someone’s up there, sweetie, we have to wait our turn,” the mother explains. 

“I guess we should head down,” Mina mutters. She wants to stay up here, locked in this brief moment with Jinsol. 

“That’s okay, we get to see Dinny next,” Jinsol says, stepping out of the mouth and descending back down the winding stairs. “You coming?” She asks, turning back to Mina who’s still in place. 

“Yeah, right behind you,” Mina shakes the thoughts away, tucking them back in the box labeled ‘Do Not Open’ and follows Jinsol out of Mr. Rex. 

Dinny is not much of a wonder like Mr. Rex. To be honest, it’s just a Brontosaurus with a gift shop in its belly. Not that it isn’t fun to walk through the store with Jinsol laughing at the weird objects being sold and trying to deter Jinsol from buying the whole store. It takes a lot of negotiating but Mina manages to get Jinsol to only buy a replica of each dinosaur. 

“One for me and one for you! You can keep it in your new apartment so I’m always with you,” Jinsol smiles and hands her the Mr. Rex replica. Mina can tell the smile isn’t genuine, but the gesture itself is sweet. 

“I’m not going to forget about you just because we’re on opposite coasts,” Mina turns around to tuck the t-rex into her bag. When she looks at Jinsol again she's frowning. “What?”

Jinsol shakes her head, an easy smile falling back into place, “Nothing, nothing, just a—Nothing, don’t worry about it.” 

Mina raises a brow, but doesn’t push Jinsol on it further. She’ll talk about it when she’s ready to, she always does. They’ve never kept secrets from each other. Not since the Great Division of Junior year. But they don’t talk about that.

“Let’s go see what this museum they’re advertising is all about,” Mina pulls Jinsol along behind her toward the small museum section of the dinosaur, but both pause outside of the area. 

“Does that—” Jinsol frowns looking at the sign. 

“Creationism?” Mina scratches her head bewildered. “In a dinosaur?” 

“I’m not sure—How are those even connected?” Jinsol looks at Mina who shrugs.

“This is why you weren’t allowed to pick things,” Mina laughs, tugging Jinsol out of the dinosaur and back into the California sun. “Your privileges have been revoked.” 

Jinsol whines, “What? That’s not fair.” She stops in the center of dinosaurs as Mina keeps walking away.

“Revoked!” Mina sees Jinsol’s pout and laughs harder, throwing her head back. She faces the sky, sun bright and warm against her skin. She looks back to Jinsol to find her holding her phone up taking a picture of Mina. “Seriously?” 

Jinsol smiles big, and bright, her eyes lighting up with silent laughter. “You looked pretty, even if you were being mean.” 

“Good thing they’re not mutually exclusive then,” Mina winks, or rather attempts to, and walks back toward the camper van with Jinsol hot on her heels, her laughter ringing out behind her.

Jinsol starts the car up and looks to Mina, “Where to next?” 

“The Grand Canyon,” Mina types the location into her phone. “It’ll take us the rest of the day to get there.” 

“That’s such a typical spot.” 

“And it’ll make me happy to see it with you,” Mina lifts a brow with a challenging look, “I could go by myself, or with Sooyoung.” 

“No,” Jinsol says quickly. The engine hums to life at the turn of the key and Jinsol takes them out onto the road once more. “To the Grand Canyon!” 

* * *

It’s nightfall when they reach Navajo Point in Grand Canyon Village. Jinsol is carefully winding their way up to the point. 

“We could’ve just stayed closer to the village,” Mina says as she’s leaning forward to look out the windshield to help Jinsol navigate in the dark. “It was probably the safer bet.”

“But I have a _plan_ ,” Jinsol huffs, “We’re almost there anyway.” 

Mina glances over at Jinsol watching as the younger woman bites her lip in concentration. It’s a habit Jinsol’s had for as long as Mina can remember. Days and nights spent studying in their dorm or spread out across tables in the library, Mina would sneak glances at the once blonde Jinsol as she worked through her course material. Maybe it had been then where Mina started falling for her best friend. Those moments that were suspended in time where Jinsol would tease Mina for finishing her work fast or for being on her third cup of coffee that day. Or Jinsol would drop her head dramatically on the table and pretend to sleep as Mina shook it to get her back to work. 

Honestly, if anyone were to ask when Mina fell in love with Jinsol, she wouldn’t be able to pinpoint just one moment. Because even now as Jinsol steers the camper van into the empty parking lot of Navajo Point, a triumphant smile on her face, Mina feels herself falling a little bit more. 

“Ta-da!” Jinsol parks the van and sweeps her arm out in a grand motion. Mina squints into the dark trying to discern shapes through the limited reach of the headlights. 

“I see nothing.” 

Jinsol sighs, slumping in her seat, “Same.” 

Reaching across the center console, Mina takes Jinsol’s hand in hers and squeezes. “But excellent driving. We almost died a few times, but you did it.” 

With a laugh, Jinsol rolls her head to the side to look at Mina, “Hungry?”

“We stopped for food a few hours ago.”

“Okay, but that didn’t answer my question,” Jinsol unbuckles and clambers to the back of the van. She whips open a cabinet with gusto and holds up a couple bags of snacks. “I brought your favorites.” 

“You know me so well,” Mina smiles and walks over to the small dining table behind the front seats. They sit in a comfortable silence. Occasionally, Jinsol reaches out and steals some chips from Mina’s bag, but she pretends not to notice, if only for the pleased smile that graces Jinsol’s face. 

“Are you having fun so far?” Jinsol asks, clipping her snack bag closed. “I know this isn’t what you imagined our last—imagined this summer to be.” 

“It’s definitely more entertaining than what we usually do,” Mina pops another chip in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. 

“In a good way?” Jinsol bites her lip, eyes searching Mina’s face for something. Mina flushes under the intensity of the gaze. 

“Yes, Sol, in a good way. I always have fun with you,” Mina passes her bag to Jinsol to close. She had never been good with those bag-clips that Jinsol insists on having in the apartment. “Mostly always.”

“I got you in trouble _once_ ,” Jinsol pushes the snacks aside. “And to be fair, it was Nayeon’s idea to steal the candy cane from the mall Santa.” 

“You should know by now to never listen to Nayeon’s ideas, leave that to Sooyoung,” Mina laughs, but it’s broken up by a yawn. 

“And that’s the signal.” Jinsol stands and walks back over to the driver’s seat. “I’m gonna back the van into a spot, and then we can head to bed.” 

Mina is too tired to even question why they have to do that and just lets Jinsol do her thing. Sometimes it's better not to ask, at least then she has plausible deniability. 

Jinsol hoists a sleepy Mina out of the seat and passes her some pajamas to sleep in. They change quickly, not caring that the other is right there. It’s typical, they’ve done it a million times before. Mina had long ago stopped being bashful about it. 

They work together to make the bed fold down from the wall and lay the blankets and pillows out on it. The space isn’t as small as Mina had thought it would be, both of them fit comfortable side by side on the mattress. But it doesn’t stop Jinsol from rolling over and clinging to Mina as sleep tugs at them. 

“I meant to ask,” Mina whispers, her arm wrapped around Jinsol’s shoulder and Jinsol’s arm slung over her waist, “how’d you have time to make a plan for this stop? I didn’t tell you my locations.” 

Jinsol hums, her breath tickling Mina’s neck as she breathes out. “You mentioned the Grand Canyon at that Spring BBQ.” 

Mina scrunches her face, “That was almost three years ago.” 

“I remember everything you say,” Jinsol sighs, tightening her grip on Mina. “We were with Sooyoung and that girlfriend of hers at the time—”

“—Jungeun.”

“Mhm, and they were talking about the weekend trip they were gonna take to the Grand Canyon,” Jinsol says, voice heavy with exhaustion. Mina listens attentively, playing with the ends of Jinsol’s hair. “You looked sad. You had short black hair then, couldn’t hide behind it like you do now. Sooyoung wouldn’t shut up about how beautiful it was gonna be and how she was excited. And you looked at me and said, ‘one day I want to see it. I want to see the sunrise there.’” 

Mina hopes that Jinsol can’t hear how fast her heart is beating in her chest. “You remember all of that?” 

“Yeah.” Jinsol’s arm loosens its hold around Mina, the sure sign that she’s falling asleep.

“Why?” 

“‘Cause it’s you.” 

The camper van falls silent, only the soft murmurs of Jinsol sleeping intermittently fills the space. Mina’s head is spinning, she doesn’t know if she can sleep, not after that. Jinsol has said some questionable things over the years, but this felt different. The air around them felt charged, or maybe she’s making it up in her again. 

If anything were to happen with Jinsol, it would have happened by now, Mina reasons with herself. 

Yet, the idea that Jinsol pays that close attention to her, that she remembers those minute things that Mina has mentioned in passing and long forgotten; it makes the deep seated yearning that she has buried bloom in her chest. 

Mina wakes up to Jinsol shaking her with a grin, “Get up, get up, get up. You sleep like the dead.” 

Rubbing her eyes, Mina pushes Jinsol off her and sits up. “Wha—Sol, it’s early.”

“Sit tight, okay?” Jinsol scrambles off the bed and Mina flops back against the mattress. She listens to Jinsol banging around the galley mumbling to herself. Outside the window, the sky lightens little by little as the sun starts to rise. Mina shifts on the bed, moving the pillows to prop herself up against the wall away from the double doors that were behind their heads as they slept. 

A few moments later, Jinsol appears with a mug of coffee and a plate of eggs with ketchup drizzled over the top. 

“Seriously, you spoil me,” Mina takes the plate. Then looks at Jinsol in shock, “You made eggs.” 

“And coffee,” Jinsol sets her breakfast down and reaches for the handles to the doors. “You taught me, remember.” 

“I really didn’t think you were listening.”

Jinsol turns back to Mina with a secretive smile, “I always listen.” 

With two quick motions, Jinsol pushes the doors open, revealing the canyon in front of them. The sun is just peaking over the horizon, the first rays of light illuminating the edges of the canyon. They sit in awed silence eating their breakfast wrapped in blankets to combat the early morning chill as the sun rises higher and higher into the sky. 

It breaks over the edges of the canyon, bathing the sky and the canyon in brilliant warmth. The top points of the canyon reds and oranges and earthy tones that the light brings out of them. Below them, the places the sun cannot quite reach yet, contrast with the darker hues. 

Mina thinks it looks like fire and water clashing together. 

“Sol…” Mina mutters, her breath caught in her throat. “It’s...it’s so much better than I could have ever imagined.” She glances over to find Jinsol not beside her anymore. 

“Don’t move,” Jinsol laughs, “I’m taking your picture.”

Mina turns back around and groans, feigning annoyance. “You’re always taking my picture.”

“Stop being pretty then.” The bed shifts as Jinsol crawls back toward her, dropping down beside her and showing her the photo. 

She looks down at the phone, examining the picture of herself. Or really just her back and part of her side profile when she had been looking for Jinsol. She’s illuminated by the light coming from the rising sun, casting a halo around her body and brightening her blonde hair. The messy bed and empty coffee mug make a cameo, but it’s the sun rise that’s the real scene stealer in the picture. 

“I swear your camera roll is just me,” Mina laughs, handing the phone back to Jinsol. “Should’ve gone into photography instead of music production.” 

Jinsol shakes her head with a soft smile, “I know I can take good pictures, what’s the fun in doing something I’m good at when I can learn something new?” 

“You would think that way,” Mina leans her head on Jinsol’s shoulder, both watching the sun continue to rise into the sky. 

“New doesn’t have to mean scary.” Jinsol laces their hands together. 

“No, no it doesn’t,” Mina agrees, thinking about all the times she jumped out of her comfort zone for Jinsol. With Jinsol, new things don’t scare her. Knowing that Jinsol wouldn’t want her to be scared and that she’d support her, Mina thinks she could do just about anything. 

* * *

By the late afternoon rolls around, Mina and Jinsol are halfway through the Arches National Park. Mina opted to just do the drive through the park and spend the night in the campground because she knew Jinsol would not want to hike around for a few days. And to be honest, she didn’t want to hike either. 

She’s driving today to give Jinsol a break from all the driving she had been doing. Jinsol sits in the passenger seat, feet up on the dashboard watching as they pass by large rock formations and dessert. 

They’ve already stopped a few times to check out some of the early highlights. The La Sal Mountains Viewpoint was cool, and the Balanced Rock was fun to look at. Jinsol kept pretending to kick it so Mina could get a cool shot. But her laughter left them with several blurry photos and one picture of Jinsol playfully shaking her fist at Mina behind the camera. 

Jinsol fired Mina from her job of taking pictures, instead using self timers or asking someone else. In most cases, the strangers did a better job than Mina would have anyway. 

She pulls over to another stop, this time to take a short walk to the North Window arch. Mina races ahead of Jinsol, her white dress flowing behind her as she runs with her water bottle in her hand. 

“Come on, slow poke!” Mina yells over her shoulder. She reaches the window in the arch before Jinsol does. Though, to Mina, it looks more like an eye. She turns triumphantly to look at Jinsol who’s still a ways away, holding her phone up ready to take Mina’s photo. 

“Strike a pose!” 

Mina does as she’s asked and hits a few basic poses before putting her arms out to her sides and balancing her water bottle on her head. Jinsol’s laugh is loud and gets carried by the dry wind that blows through the desert occasionally. 

“Come on, Miss Ballerina, give me something else!” Jinsol lowers her phone to look at Mina and the sun sinking into the horizon leaving a lilac sky in its wake. “Arabesque or something!” 

Mina tilts her head with a cheeky smile wondering if Jinsol has any idea what she’s saying, but is pleasantly surprised she named a ballet position correctly. Somewhat correctly. Mina sets the water bottle down and smiles apologetically at the people patiently waiting their turn to take pictures. 

She’s thankful to put biking shorts under her dress today, not that she’d hike in a dress any other way. She plants her shoe firmly on the ground and lifts the other slowly before extending it out behind her. Raising her arms up, she extends one out to the front of her body and the other, same as the extended leg, out to the side diagonally. Mina is sure to be at an angel so the entire position can be seen in the photograph. 

Holding the position isn’t difficult, though she switches it to second and third position to give Jinsol some variation in her shots.

Jinsol gives her a confirmation that she can get out of the position before she’s running toward Mina. 

“Stunning, as always. This is why the New York Ballet wants you,” Jinsol smiles. “Though you were a _little_ wobbly.”

“You try it while standing on uneven rocks.”

“Bet?” Jinsol passes Mina the phone. “Try not to make these blurry this time.”

Mina rolls her eyes despite the smile on her face and heads down to where Jinsol had been standing. She’s able to hold in her laughter as Jinsol tries, and fails, to mimic the moves Mina had been doing. But she’ll give her good marks for trying. 

Eventually she beckons Mina back up to her where she had asked a family to take their picture and in turn she’d take theirs. They make a few silly poses and one where they’re facing away from the camera, hands clasped together and held up together sky like they just won a fight. 

In that moment, in the warm glow on the sun and the infectious smiles on both their faces, Mina wonders if maybe she should tell Jinsol how she really feels. If not for any other reason than to be brave. Because right now, Mina feels brave, unstoppable, like the world could be ending and she’d be okay. Maybe it’s the high of the adventure or of being so close to Jinsol, but she thinks maybe she’d have nothing to lose. 

Maybe. 

That night, after cooking a quick dinner, Mina and Jinsol sit in the back of the camper van. The back doors are open as they look up at the night sky. Everything is so much brighter out here, away from city lights and smog. Watching the sunrise in the desert is a magical experience, but staring up at the night sky is mystical. The sun rises everywhere, casting similar hues in the sky, but stars are different. She can’t see them everywhere, not as clearly as she can see them here. 

“Is our next stop another desert?” Jinsol asks while she skims through the photos she took today. 

“No, it’s the Yellowstone National Park,” Mina glances over and sees Jinsol favorite a picture of Mina before turning it into a lockscreen. It’s one where she’s in the ballet pose with the lilac sky behind her. 

“Another nature thing?” Jinsol teases with a grin. “No, nope, we’re not doing this, Mina.” 

“I told you, if you wanted to do this road trip, I was picking the stops.”

“And I told _you,_ ” Jinsol pokes Mina’s cheek, “that if the stops were boring or typical, I was switching it up.” 

Mina crosses her arms with a pout, “Absolutely not. I thought you were having fun.” 

Jinsol narrows her eyes, knowing the game Mina was playing. “I am, we could be going on a road trip to look at clock museums and I’d have fun with you.” 

“We could—” 

“No.” Jinsol shakes her head, “Let me pick a few stops.” 

“You picked the creationist dinosaurs, I don’t trust your judgement.” 

“And you had fun there! It’s the silly stops that are the most fun and memorable. You’re gonna be telling the creationist dinosaurs stories to your kids and your grandkids and your great-grand—”

“Okay! Okay!” Mina concedes. “One stop. But if it’s awful, you’re rights are permanently revoked.” 

Jinsol cheers and presses a fast kiss to Mina’s cheek, “I win.” She climbs off the bed to pull their bags out from under the storage to get ready for bed. 

“Uh, no, we weren’t competing,” Mina huffs and pulls the double doors shut. 

“We’re competing now,” Jinsol grins. “My stop is gonna be better.” 

“Oh, my god,” Mina laughs in disbelief, “You planned this. You had a plan all along.”

“Whaat? _Me?_ ” Jinsol points to herself, feigning offense. She can’t hold the face long before laughing. “Yes, yeah, I totally did. Don’t worry, you’re gonna love this.” 

Honestly, Mina can’t even be mad. Jinsol, who never plans a single thing in advance, had been planning these things for over a month now. She had been thinking about this trip and the things that could make Mina happy. And that’s enough to make Mina fall asleep with a smile on her face. 

Well, that, and being tangled up in Jinsol’s arms again. But that’s a different story. 

When she wakes up the next morning, the camper van is already in motion. Jinsol is singing quietly under her breath when Mina appears beside her. 

“Morning, cutie,” Jinsol lifts a cup up and offers it to her. “Picked up coffee and breakfast while you were sleeping.” 

“Why couldn’t you have spoiled me like this in college?” Mina asks as she buckles into her seat, tucking her feet underneath her. 

“Uh, I—” Jinsol clears her throat and takes a sip of her own drink. “It’s, uh, it’s a thank you present for letting me pick a stop. Yeah.” 

Mina hums noncommittally, “You pestered me until I said yes.”

“Tomato, tomahto,” Jinsol shrugs. 

Quietly, Mina eats her breakfast looking out the window as they chase the run as it rises. When she’s done, she lays her head back against the headrest and reaches for Jinsol’s hand. Jinsol smiles softly at her sleepily friend and intertwines their hands. 

They continue like that, driving in silence with the radio quietly playing in the background and Jinsol’s hand in hers. She watches Jinsol hum to the music and mouth the words when she knows them. There’s a quiet excitement hidden in Jinsol’s eyes, one that sends a shock of electricity down Mina’s spine when she catches Mina staring. 

Yes, she’s in love with Jinsol. That’s not something she has ever questioned. It’s as constant and real as the sun rising. But every day, she is falling all over again. Every day, something new draws her in and keeps her locked right here. And she’s happy to be there, to fall there every day because it never changes. 

Because falling for Jinsol is continuous. It’s unrelenting. It’s exciting. It’s _infinite_.


	2. Jinsol

**Jinsol:**

Jinsol hadn’t anticipated this road trip either. She really hadn’t given Mina leaving at the end of the summer much thought, if only because the idea itself hurt more than the time the swinging door at the diner smacked her right in the face — the bruise stayed on her face for weeks and hurt every time Mina kissed her forehead, but Jinsol refused to be skimped on forehead kisses. Mina leaving to live across the country hurt like that, but there was no silver lining to it. No forehead kisses or teasing laughter when Jinsol forgot the bruise was there. It was just Mina leaving, and that hurt like hell. 

So, yeah, Jinsol threw the idea of a road trip out there, but the moment she said it she knew she couldn’t take it back. She wouldn’t. A few weeks of uninterrupted time spent alone with Mina sounded like heaven to her. No school work, no _work_ work, no annoying friends dragging them to bars, or people trying to flirt with them. Just her and Mina. 

It’s as glorious as she imagined it to be. Even now, waking up somewhere in Idaho, with Mina drooling on her pillow and her hand tightly gripping Jinsol’s shirt. Early morning sun breaking through the thin curtains of the camper van illuminating Mina in a warm glow. Jinsol debated just sliding out of the bed and doing what she had done a few mornings ago when they left the Arches National Park, but Mina had scolded her for doing all the driving. 

“It’s too many hours to sit in that seat every day, especially for someone who doesn’t stretch,” Mina said the other day while they drove up through part of Idaho. 

“Not all of us are ballerinas, Mina.” 

“You don’t need to be a ballerina to stretch,” Mina rolled her eyes 

“I’m not athletic like you, is that what you’re saying?”

“Yes, that’s exactly it. You’re a potato,” Mina pointed out the window as they passed by yet another potato farm. 

Jinsol had just laughed because she knew Mina was just teasing her about it out of worry. That’s just how they were and Jinsol wouldn’t trade that for anything. Mina knows her better than anyone else. 

But she will keep shouldering all the driving because she knows how much Mina hates to drive, especially big cars. Even if her back hurts, she will keep driving just to spare Mina from doing it — plus, she knows Mina will happily give her a massage if she complained enough about it. Still, Mina would rather Jinsol not be hurt, even though it means she has to drive this camper van. So, Jinsol gently reaches over to wake her up. 

“If you sleep any longer you’ll make a swimming pool,” Jinsol teases as Mina’s eyes flutter open. The blonde groans and shoves Jinsol away, wiping the drool off her face. 

“Why can’t you ever wake me up nicely?” Mina mumbles, sleepily running her hand through her tangled hair. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, should we try this again?” Jinsol tilts her head in thought, “I could wake you up with cuddles? Pepper your face in kisses? Or—” 

Mina jolts upright, face turning bright red, “No, nope, shaking me awake is fine. Perfectly fine.” 

“Oo-kay, then don’t complain.” Jinsol slides off the bed with a grin and takes the two steps into the little kitchen. She gets to work on the same breakfast she’s been making for the past couple days. They’re trying not to spend too much on food other than some groceries to keep in the van. Which mostly consists of snacks and eggs, but Mina gets creative enough with meals that it’s not too bad. Yet. It’s only been a few days. 

“How far are we from your secret destination?” Mina yawns, stretching her arms up and making her shirt slide up revealing a sliver of skin. Jinsol catches a brief glimpse and her hand fumbles with cracking the egg. It splatters onto the floor leaving a mess around her bare feet. She glances sheepishly at Mina, her cheeks red — she chalks it up to embarrassment from making a mess. Mina laughs and raises a brow. “Maybe I should cook this morning.” 

Jinsol shakes her head and bends down to clean up the mess with some paper towels. “We’re still about six or so hours away.”

“Six?” 

“Or so,” Jinsol stands, tossing the dirty paper towels into the trash. 

“This better be worth it,” Mina crosses her arms with a playful glare. “I could be basking in the sun at Yellowstone.” 

“You can bask in the sun through the windshield.” 

Mina mimics her with a mocking tone and sticks her tongue out. “I’m gonna change and put the bed up, try not to drop any more food while I’m not supervising.”

“I don’t need supervision,” says Jinsol just as she almost drops another egg. Mina is staring at her with one brow raised and an ‘I told you so’ smile on. “Starting now. Starting now I don’t need supervision.” 

Jinsol turns her attention back to the hot plate and pan to cook their eggs. She’s thankful for the distraction. There’s been this knot in the pit of her stomach since she woke up. Not the kind that makes her nauseous or gives her a sense of impending doom. It’s different, lighter, maybe not even a knot. She can’t really place the sensation, all she knows is that it intensifies whenever she looks at Mina. Mina who’s been by her side for years and is about to leave her for good. That’s dramatic, Jinsol knows that, but it’s how it feels. New York is awfully far from California. Awfully far from Jinsol. 2,798 miles away to be exact. She’s checked. And she’s checked again. The knot in her stomach could be that, could be knowing that for the first time in four years Mina won’t be there when she wakes up, or to cook her food after a long shift, or to run to when a storm rages outside. Mina won’t be there. 

The knot in her stomach tightens. 

“Glaring at the eggs won’t make them taste better,” Mina teases. She wraps her arms around Jinsol’s waist and places her chin on her shoulder. 

“Not like you can taste anything under the ketchup you drown it in.” Jinsol relaxes into Mina’s arms. The knot in her stomach easing up with the contact. _She’s here right now, that’s what matters._

* * *

“Jinsol, what the fuck is this place?” asks Mina as they pull into a grungy car garage under a tattered red awning in the late afternoon.

“A mermaid lounge! And casino, but we’re not gambling,” Jinsol casts a sidelong glance at Mina. “I’m not trying to go broke by competing against you.” 

“You’d go broke because I’d be winning,” Mina shrugs. “Wait, _mermaid_ lounge? You drove us eleven hours through Idaho and Montana to take us to a _mermaid lounge_?” 

“Yup.” Jinsol parks the camper van and turns the engine off, facing Mina with a satisfied smile. “We’re not spending this trip going to every typical tourist trap. That’s what everyone does and where’s the fun in being like everyone else?” Jinsol watches Mina’s face carefully. She knows what the blonde woman is thinking, something along the lines of liking the predictability, of knowing what she’s getting herself into. But that’s all Mina has ever been doing. The same, predictable things. And Jinsol adores her for it, because she knows Mina like the back of her hand. But she also knows Mina is capable of so much more if she just stepped out of that tiny zone she stays in for comfort. Jinsol isn’t going to be there in New York with her, she isn’t going to be there to drag Mina out of her apartment to do something different. So, yeah, maybe this trip was a way for Jinsol to get one last, uninterrupted time with Mina, but she wants to show her that life is a series of adventures that are worth taking. 

“Sol…” 

“Risks aren’t always dangerous.” Jinsol gets out of the camper van and walks over to Mina’s door, opening it with a calming smile and a flourish of her arm. “We’re just going to see some people dressed up as mermaids swimming around in a tank while we drink some cocktails. It’s weird, and quirky, and it’ll be a good story for your New York friends.” 

“I don’t have New York friends.” 

“Not yet, but when you do you can gush about your gorgeous best friend with a big brain and the silly adventures you went on together.” Jinsol holds her hand out to Mina. She watches the expression on Mina’s face shift from hesitance to...well, Jinsol isn’t sure how to explain it. The tiny quirk of Mina’s lip, the bright twinkle in her eye under the fluorescent of the parking garage lights, there’s something hidden beneath it all. But it’s fleeting. And just when Jinsol thinks she has a name for it, it’s gone. 

Mina takes her hand, “You’re buying the drinks.” 

“Then it’s a date,” Jinsol winks, enjoying the tinge of pink that dusts Mina’s cheeks. With their hands interlocked, they make their way into the lounge, not sure what really awaits them on the other side. 

  
  


An hour later, they’re sitting at the bar sipping from a scorpion bowl with two straws and a tiny umbrella sticking out of it. The blue liquid sits barely below the rim, neither of them caring much to drink, only wanting to say that they had. Jinsol’s eyes are fixed on the women in the tank behind the bar, iridescent scales of their mermaid tails catches the light when they swim by. Their goggles kind of ruin the mystical whimsy of the lounge, but better the workers be safe than keep up a ruse everyone knows is fake. 

A mermaid with fire red hair swims past, waving at Jinsol as she does. Jinsol grins and waves back, excited to suspend her disbelief just for a little while and enjoy this odd stop on their trip. Mina takes a big sip of the alcohol. 

“Don’t look so grumpy,” Jinsol nudges her. “You were just as awed by them when we first got here.” Mina mumbles something under her breath. Jinsol only catches what she thinks sound like _googly eyes_. “Jealous?” 

Mina chokes. “ _No_. No, of what? The mermaids?” 

“Because they’re looking at me, not you.” Jinsol flags down the bartender, “Can I have a glass of water? Look, Mina, if you wanted their attention you could wave too.” 

“It’s not their attention I want,” Mina mutters. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” Mina’s shoulders sag. That knot in Jinsol’s stomach tightens once more. This is supposed to be a fun stop, something quirky to think about not a stop that’s upsetting Mina. 

“We can go—” Jinsol stands.

“Sit down, Solie, we’re not going anywhere,” Mina tugs her gently back town, their hands remaining locked together. “I’m having fun, I just wanted to talk with you but you’ve been drooling over the fake mermaids.” 

“They could be real.” 

Mina sighs but smiles anyway. And Jinsol feels it rattle her rib cage. She knows that sigh, she’s heard it enough times over the years. Jinsol tends to have a one track mind, especially when it comes to something she enjoys. Or someone. It’s the sigh Jinsol hears when she’s been sucked into one too many episodes of a new TV show she’s found or when they eat from the same take-out place five nights in a row because it’s all Jinsol can think about eating. It’s a resigned sigh, but it’s not bitter, not upset. It’s just...accepting. And it’s always, _always_ followed by a smile almost like she’s trying to reassure Jinsol, or maybe herself, that it is okay. Whatever it is.

Jinsol remembers the first time she heard that sigh. Junior year of college. The start of what their friends call the Great Division, but her and Mina never talk about it. Jinsol had just started dating Haseul, they’d been on a few casual dates, it wasn’t serious until it was. Sure, Jinsol had dated plenty of people in college. There was Yoohyeon, the dorky linguistics major, and Yubin, her classmate from music production 101, and that one upperclassmen, Minji, that she met at a party Mina refused to go to with her. Mina had seen Jinsol date plenty. But Haseul was different, they dated for a few months, and went almost everywhere together. Something that had once been Mina’s place in her life started to become Haseul’s. Lunch dates, study sessions, late night drives, and walks in the park. 

Mina had been the first person Jinsol told that she loved Haseul. That’s the first time Jinsol heard the sigh, first time she saw that smile. Maybe even the first time she ever felt this knot she feels in her stomach now. 

“I’m happy for you,” Mina said and Jinsol had accepted it. She didn’t want to think that her best friend wasn’t supportive of her. But Mina had always been supportive of her; cheered her on for everything she did. Just like Jinsol did for Mina. “Are you still coming to my performance tonight?” 

Jinsol had forgotten, she made plans with Haseul. And then she heard the sigh again, a different kind this time. Sadder, smaller, like she was afraid if it was any louder the fragile structure of their friendship would simply crumble. It was then that Jinsol realized she hadn’t spent any time with Mina in over a month. Haseul was always there. Or Nayeon and Sooyoung, and whoever their current girlfriend was. 

That night, Jinsol still went out with Haseul. Skipped Mina’s performance because there would be more, there’d always be more. But Mina stopped inviting her to them, started locking her bedroom door so Jinsol couldn’t get in when there were storms or if she wanted cuddles. Mina just _stopped_ because Jinsol had stopped first. That’s when they drifted apart. 

Haseul had been the one to push her back toward Mina. “You miss her, stop being so stubborn and talk to her,” Haseul told her. And so she did, she promised Mina she would do better at balancing her relationship with her friendships. Once she let Mina back in, once they got back into their groove, it was only Mina for Jinsol. She’s not sure how anything before that made any sense. Without Mina, Jinsol really had felt empty. So, she went to every performance, went out with Mina every weekend and had sleepovers in Mina’s room almost every night. Everything in moderation; that’s what people say. Clearly, they’ve never met Mina. 

Jinsol should have seen it coming when Haseul broke up with her. “I love you more than you love me, and I need someone that’s not gonna put everyone before me. I think you might love someone else.”

Someone else. That part never made sense to Jinsol. But she accepted the break up, went home and cried to Mina about it who held her all night and promised that one day she’d find a love that understood her, a love that knew her inside and out. 

Now, hearing that sigh, Jinsol knows that Mina will resign herself to staying at this bar if it makes Jinsol happy, and it would, but she’d be happier knowing Mina is happy, too. 

“Okay, okay, sorry,” Jinsol holds her hands up. 

Mina squeezes her hand with a soft smile, “Don’t be sorry. The mermaids seem to have taken a liking to you.” 

“They’re just trying to seduce me and lure me to my death.”

“That’s a siren,” Mina rolls her eyes. “Mermaids are peaceful, sirens are depicted as evil temptresses.” 

Jinsol pulls the tiny umbrella out of their drink and points it at Mina with a raised brow. “So, you.” 

“If I was a temptress I think I would’ve had you in my grasp long ago,” Mina says, cheeks aflame but eyes staring steadily at her. Jinsol’s heart leaps in her chest, the words weave their way through her, unraveling the knot in her stomach and causing a fluttering feeling. She can’t tell if she loves or hates it. 

“Who says you don’t already have me?” The words fall from Jinsol’s mouth before she really thinks about them. It’s not in her usual teasing tone or playful flirtation. It almost feels real. 

Mina’s lips part incredulously, but she shakes her head, an easy smile falling into place. “Wanna see who can get a mermaid to wink at them first?” 

“You’ve been hanging out with Nayeon too much,” Jinsol laughs. “No more betting, seriously.” 

“You’re just scared you’ll lose.” Mina puffs out her chest proudly. 

“...Get ready to lose.” 

* * *

They’re halfway to Wyoming the next day — to a location Mina proudly picked and refused to tell Jinsol about — when they have to pull into a motel parking lot. Rain is coming down in sheets. Thunder rolling through the open roads and lightning striking in the fields. Jinsol has a white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel ready to run and hide. She hates storms. An almost irrational fear because she knows she’s relatively safe from them, but there’s something jarring when the thunder crackles loudly, shaking the entire floor. Or when lightning strikes so bright it illuminates the inky black of the cloudy sky. It makes her skin crawl and her bones clatter. 

It’s barely late afternoon and all Jinsol wants to do is sleep through the storm curled up in the motel’s bed. But it isn’t easy with the intensity of the storm, it rattles everything in the room when it rolls through. She closes her eyes tighter, clutching a pillow to her chest, begging Mina to come back sooner from grabbing them food. 

As if she heard her pleas, the door bursts open and hits the wall with force from the wind outside. Rain spills in sideways along with a drenched blonde holding plastic bags in each hand. Forgetting her fear for a moment, Jinsol leaps to Mina, shutting the door behind her and offering her a towel. 

“Thanks,” Mina stutters, teeth chattering from the cold. 

Jinsol’s quick to lead her to the bathroom. She gets her dry clothes and one of the warm fuzzy robes to fight off the cold that seeped into her skin. “What’d you get from the store?” 

“Cup noodles and some water,” Mina leaves the bathroom to get the bags. “The closest store was a mini-mart, there wasn't much left on the shelf. I got what I could.” 

“Cup noodles are always good,” Jinsol smiles, then yelps as another clap of thunder echoes through the town. 

Mina settles into the bed, leaving the food on the table near the door and opens the blanket up for Jinsol to join her. Even with her fear, in the soft glow of the shitty lamp, Jinsol can’t resist taking Mina’s picture before climbing into the bed with her. It’s typical for them to spend storms like this, wrapped in each other’s arms or in a blanket watching movies and trying to drown out the thunder outside. From the very beginning, Mina never questioned it, never judged Jinsol for it, just invited her into her arms and did what she could to distract her and calm her down. 

Jinsol collapses into Mina’s awaiting arms, curling up against her chest and holding tightly to the fuzzy robe. One of Mina’s arms wraps around her front, resting on her hip, while the other plays with the ends of her hair. The position is familiar in almost every way. Almost. Something new rumbles inside of Jinsol, something that’s been slowly unraveling from the day they left California. She can’t quite put her finger on it. Between the knot in her stomach and the fluttering in her chest, nothing is really making much sense to her. Mina’s fingers brushing against the skin on her hip even leaves Jinsol feeling dizzy. Different. 

“Why do you always take my picture?” Mina's voice breaks through the dangerous slope of thoughts Jinsol had been on and brings her back to the dimly lit motel room as rain patters heavily against the window. 

“Why do you always have to look photographable?” 

“Jinsol.”

“Mina.” Jinsol tilts her head up to look at the blonde, a grin tugging at her lips. 

“Can you...can you please just answer it seriously? I need to know.”

And maybe it’s the pleading look or the tug in the pit of Jinsol’s stomach, but she finds herself answering the question with more honesty than she thought she could muster, especially about this. “Because you’re beautiful—”

Mina huffs, “Sol.”

“No, I mean that objectively and subjectively. You’re beautiful and I can't take my eyes off you. Wherever we are, whatever we’re doing I'm always looking to you, at you, and you always look so—so…peaceful. Sweet. Deadly sometimes.” Jinsol turns back around, settling comfortably against Mina. Her heart is hammering in her chest as the words trickle carefully out of her mouth. “You’re so quiet, you know? When we first met I did the bulk of the talking, and it took awhile for me to actually get to know you. But it was in those silences, when you’d be watching people and I'd be looking at you, that I finally got a glimpse into who you are.”

“And what’d you see?” Mina whispers so softly Jinsol nearly misses it. 

“I saw you watching everyone else. Taking care of them, helping them. You’d cover random students lunches if they couldn’t afford it. Or you’d lend someone your notes, textbook, homework if they were struggling. You offered your time to tutor our friends and classmates. Anyone you saw that needed help, you helped them.” Jinsol lays her hand over Mina’s on her hip, intertwining their fingers together. “You helped them, but never asked for help in return. You took risks when you thought no one was watching. You laughed louder, talked more freely, danced like a goof. You’re more yourself when you think no one is watching, so I started taking your picture. Laughing, studying, running toward me, chasing the geese on campus, during your performances and practices. It’s funny, I thought maybe I’d catch a moment where you were messy, imperfect, thrown off guard, but each photo is beautiful because even when you’re messy, you’re still _perfect_. At least to me. 

“Those pictures became little time capsules of you, and I could probably tell you every detail of what was happening in that moment if you asked. I take so many pictures of you because you’re beautiful, because I want to capture your life so people can see you how I see you, so _you_ can see how I see you, even if I’m the only one that looks at them now.” Jinsol hears a sniffle behind her. “Are you crying?” 

“No…” Mina sniffles again. “Maybe.” 

“Why?” Jinsol twists in Mina’s arms, but keeps their bodies pressed close together. She brushes the tears off Mina’s face. 

“Because I just…I love you, Sol, more than you probably know,” Mina sighs. There it is again. That sigh. Resigned. Accepting. _Hurt_. And that fleeting expression crosses her face and this time Jinsol thinks she can name it. She’s scared to name it. 

Jinsol tugs them down lower in the bed, and tangles their bodies together as the thunder gets softer as it rolls out of town. She holds Mina close and Mina holds her, but she doesn’t dare say it back. Not because it’s untrue, not because she doesn’t feel it too, but she doesn’t know _what_ she’s feeling anymore. Jinsol would’ve once said, “I love you, too. You’re my best friend.” And it still holds true, but something is missing. Something more needs to be said. But what? 

She settles for a kiss to Mina’s head and a tightening of her grip on her waist. And Mina snuggles into the embrace deeper. For now, it’s enough. Jinsol isn’t quite ready to think about what more than enough would mean. 

* * *

The next afternoon they pull into a parking lot, both staring underwhelmed at the corner of the four-way intersection. Jinsol turns a confused gaze onto Mina who glances between her phone screen and the corner of the street. 

“This isn’t what…” Mina trails off with a huff. 

“When I said pick something random I didn’t mean lead us to a tiny sculpture on the corner of a Wyoming street,” Jinsol teases, nudging Mina with her hand. 

“I thought there’d be more sculptures around, I dunno.” Mina drops her phone into the cupholder and turns to Jinsol. “Now what?” 

Jinsol smiles. “We go look at it.” 

“We can see the whole thing from here.” Mina shifts dejectedly in her seat. “This is why I didn’t want to deviate from the plan.” 

She reaches across the center aisle and unbuckles Mina’s seatbelt, then her own. “Come on, we’re not gonna mope in the car. Let’s just check it out, make it fun.”

“You’re not upset?” 

“Why would I be? I’m with you,” Jinsol tilts her head with a smile. And it’s true, Jinsol can’t be upset when she’s with Mina, it’s like being hungry after eating at a buffet, it just isn’t possible. She can tell Mina is disappointed in what her pick turned out to be. Her shoulders are sagging, the corner of her lips are turned down, it’s like she’s waiting for Jinsol to hate it to. But she doesn’t. That’s the fun in adventures, you never really know what’s going to happen, so come what may. Jinsol likes to roll with the punches, take the moments in stride, and doing so with Mina makes it all the more special to her. 

Outside of the camper van, Mina slips her hand into Jinsol’s as they walk toward the corner with the sculpture. It sits in the center of a carved out corner of sidewalk. A low wall divides the parking lot and space for the sculpture with shrubbery and pink and white flowers growing. The afternoon sunlight beats town on the tan concrete, casting a long shadow from the sculpture that acts almost like a sundial. Jinsol must admit it’s much bigger up close. 

The bottom of the sculpture is a rounded grey rock with a crumpled off-white paper sitting atop it and a pair of scissors poised to cut through the paper. Jinsol has to laugh. This is what Mina picked, a rocks-paper-scissors sculpture in a random town in Wyoming that neither of them had heard of. 

“It’s cool,” Jinsol says, stepping up closer to look at it. “I wonder why they made this.” 

Mina is scrolling through her phone, “Some people think it’s the rock for the museum we passed earlier and the newspaper building behind it, but they’re not sure about the scissors.” 

“Maybe the people in town are just indecisive,” Jinsol suggests still looking at the sculpture.

“Like you.” 

“Me?” Jinsol gasps. “No, _you_.” 

“You can never decide on things. It’s always coin flips, or pick-a-hand, or rocks-paper-scissors.” 

Jinsol frowns. “You’re not any better!” 

Laughing, Mina shakes her head, an unreadable look in her eyes, “I don’t choose things I know might end badly.” 

“But you could miss out on something amazing.” 

“Yeah, maybe.” Mine shrugs and walks closer to the sculpture. Jinsol follows her, watching as she seems to contemplate something. She looks at Jinsol with a secretive smile, “Somethings are already amazing, why would I want to risk that for the unknown?” 

There’s something hidden in the look Mina is giving her. Something that sends a jolt of electricity down Jinsol’s spine, kickstarting her heart and making her hands shake. It’s exhilarating. Part of it feels new, uncharted territory for Jinsol, but then it settles, humming in her bones and reverberating in her ribcage, finding a home in an already occupied space in her chest. Familiar like all those early mornings after her shift sleeping in Mina’s arms and the afternoons on campus nursing their third cups of coffee and a killer hangover, but not regretting a single minute of the previous night. Familiar like Mina’s hand in Jinsol’s as they drive with the windows open singing the lyrics to songs that make them feel alive. 

There, in Mina’s eyes, is the same look that crossed her face last night. God, and Jinsol _knows_ it. She has the word for it, but even the idea of thinking it makes her shake. How had she never noticed before? Had she? Or was she just so absorbed in another date, another music project, another night spent drinking with Sooyoung and Nayeon to even recognize it. Or maybe she’s just scared because Mina is right, why risk something that’s already amazing for the unknown? Jinsol doesn’t have an answer. 

“Let my take your picture,” Jinsol says instead of confronting the hurricane of new information whirling inside her mind. 

“Like you wouldn’t take my picture anyway.” Mina stays by the sculpture as Jinsol backs up to get better angles. 

“Got any other ballet moves?” 

“You only knew that one, didn’t you?” Mina laughs, her expression shifting from teasing to happy in the blink of an eye. Jinsol snaps a picture, catching her mid-laugh, eyes closing and mouth open in a wide smile. She snaps another picture as Mina’s face relaxes, gummy smile showing and eyes melting into pools of golden honey in the sunlight. 

“Be proud I knew one,” Jinsol grins from behind her phone. “I know the positions, and some random words, but I don’t know what they look like.” It’s a lie. Of course she knows them, she’s spent the past four years surrounded by Mina and her ballerina friends at parties, dinners, practices. She’s sat in the corner of the studio watching Mina practice with her professors and classmates. There’s no way she’d _not_ know the terms by now, but she likes listening to Mina talk about them. Enjoys the way her eyes light up and the calming tone she adopts as she teaches Jinsol each move. 

Jinsol takes a picture of each move Mina shows her, each new position and movement. First, second, third, fourth, fifth for arms and feet. Plie, releve, saute. Arabesque (again), attitude, assemblé. She memorizes each one, how each motion makes Mina’s muscles flex in her arms and legs that are bare and soaking in the summer sun. Her face is focused, stoic, eyes fixated on a point somewhere in the distance, sometimes at Jinsol’s camera. It’s different seeing Mina like this. She’s always been reserved, watching others instead of engaging, but Jinsol knows her as this goofy person. Whenever she sees her perform, it’s like a switch flips turning her from this sweet, silly person to a deadly force on stage. 

A car honks on the street as someone runs a red light. Jinsol jumps at the sound and fumbles with her phone. Mina is already at her side, catching it before it has much chance to leave Jinsol’s fingertips. 

“And you say I get into the zone when I’m dancing.” Mina’s hands hold onto Jinsol’s, the phone trapped between them. 

“You’re just that captivating, I guess,” Jinsol breathes, eyes locking onto Mina’s. She realizes just how close they are and steps back. Mina furrows her brows and licks her lips contemplatively. “I, uh, we should—Let’s take a picture together,” Jinsol sputters. She walks around Mina to set the camera up on the low wall and against a dense shrub. Turning on the timer, she clicks the button and rushes to Mina by the sculpture. 

“What—”

“Winner picks the dinner stop,” Jinsol rushes to say knowing the timer is winding down. 

“Deal.” 

Together they say, “Rocks, paper, scissors, shoot.” 

Jinsol picks scissors. Mina picks rock. 

“Hah!” Mina jumps and throws her arms up in triumph. “I win! _Suck it_.” 

“Best two out of three!” Jinsol pouts. 

“Nope, you said the winner picks dinner,” Mina grins, stepping up close to Jinsol, “and _I’m_ the winner. Loser. You’re the loser.” 

“Sore winner.” 

“Sore _loser_.” Mina pokes Jinsol in the side, making her frown flip up into a smile. Mina stops her motions and stares at her with a soft smile of her own. Another car horn blares from the intersection, scaring Mina this time. The blonde stumbles and trips forward, falling right into Jinsol’s arms that wrap securely around her. Mina blushes at the close proximity of their faces. 

Jinsol smirks. “Like what you see?” 

“Eh, could be better,” Mina whispers. 

Jinsol pushes her out of her arms. “Just pick a place to eat, I’m starving.” She walks over to her phone, taking a look at the burst of photos that it took. They actually timed it well, getting a few shots of their rock-paper-scissor match in front of the sculpture, but the final picture makes Jinsol laugh. She turns the image to Mina. 

On screen, Mina’s in the air, arms up and legs curled behind her after her victory, and next to her Jinsol stands with a pout staring at her hands like they betrayed her. 

“Okay, maybe you’re _kinda_ cute,” Mina kisses her cheek. “Come on, hungry, let’s find you some food.” 

Jinsol freezes in place as Mina walks back to the camper van. Her hand brushes her cheek where Mina’s lips just were and her stomach does another flip. She groans, clumsily tucking her phone back into her pocket, softly muttering, “ _Fuck_ ,” before running to catch up to Mina. 

* * *

“This is what you picked?” Mina looks up at the towering figure of an eight-legged Volkswagen beetle sitting beside a growing field of corn in Iowa.

“You picked a sculpture, I wanted to pick one, too,” Jinsol shrugs. 

“...You’re still mad I won rock-paper-scissor.” 

“I still think you cheated.” 

“How would I do that?” Mina narrows her eyes at Jinsol. “Now you’re trying to one-up my pick.” 

“Am not,” Jinsol crosses her arms and matches Mina’s glare, only to crumble a moment later. “Okay, yes, I am.”

Mina lets out a melodic laugh that makes Jinsol feel light headed. 

_What is wrong with me?_ She thinks, turning her attention back to the odds sculpture that stands before them. It’s metal body painted black shines in the sunlight and casts an odd shaped shadow beneath it. 

“You said no competitions.” 

“I lied.” 

“Too much time spent with Nayeon,” Mina shakes her head. They both know how competitive Nayeon can get, even when there’s no winning, she’ll make it so _she’s_ the winner. Jinsol can’t count on her hands how many times Nayeon turned a peaceful event into a bloodbath just so she can emerge the victor. Not to _mention_ the bets she’d place and take from their classmates, for anything from wrestling matches to when a relationship might finally start. There was no escaping Nayeon’s competitive nature. Mina pulls out her phone and gestures to Jinsol, “Go on, it’s your turn to be my model.” 

Jinsol stays put. 

Mina whines, “My pictures aren’t that bad!” 

“They’re always blurry.” 

“Maybe you just make me nervous,” Mina challenges with a raise of her brow and a quirk of her lips. 

Jinsol swallows thickly, “Nervous enough to make your hands shake that bad?” 

“And then some.” 

She can’t tell if she’s kidding. Honestly, she hasn’t been able to shake the feeling that a lot of what Mina says to her while they're joking isn’t hiding some level of truth. The past couple of days it’s becoming increasingly noticeable the way Mina looks at her, the way their touches linger and their hands are pretty much permanently intertwined. She doesn’t miss the rapid thrumming of her heart when they fall asleep tangled together at night and the way it matches the pace of Mina’s. Don’t even get her started on the butterflies in her chest when she catches Mina staring at her or the nerves that jitter in her stomach when Mina catches _her_ staring and that sly smile that spreads across her face. 

But Jinsol still won’t name it. Not even sure if the name she has for it is even accurate. Or right. So, she brushes it off with a joke. 

“I tend to have that effect,” she winks, and saunters over to the Volkswagen spider, spreading her arms up like she’s a magician that pulled off an elaborate ruse. She catches Mina rolling her eyes at her antics. 

“Now I see why you stay behind the camera. You’re so _stiff_.” Mina lowers the phone, “Mix it up. You make me do ballet.” 

“Do you want me to start mixing music right here?” Jinsol deadpans. 

“Oh, could you?” Mina stares back at her, unblinking. 

“I hate you.” 

“You could never,” Mina grins. “Come on, switch it up. Give me...angry.” 

Jinsol crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at Mina, unimpressed with her directions. 

“Just like that! Gorgeous. Pouty, show me _pouty_.” Jinsol doesn’t move. “Jinsol Jung, do not start being a grump now. What happened to giving me silly adventures to tell my New York friends about? Do you want them to think you're lame?”

“You don’t have New York friends,” Jinsol huffs, a pout forming on her lips. 

Mina takes the pictures, a grin on her face. “It’s a good thing you’re cute when you’re grumpy.” 

Heat rushes up Jinsol’s neck. She tries to keep the pout on her face, or even a frown if she has to, but a bashful smile tugs at her lips, breaking out across her face despite her internal protests. 

“Ah, there’s my Solie.” 

_Her Solie_. Jinsol grins. 

Mina calls out a series of expressions and poses to Jinsol. Happy. Sad. Sexy. Scared and running from the Volkswagen spider. Sitting under it. Jinsol’s stomach hurts with how much she’s laughing by the time she convinces Mina it’s her turn, but she shakes her head. 

“I just want one with us,” Mina says. They stand for a moment looking around trying to figure out how they’re gonna pull this off when a farmer rolls past on his tractor. He smiles pleasantly at them. 

“Need some help?” He steps down from the tractor. 

“Could you take our picture?” Mina asks, handing the phone over the farmer when he agrees. 

“Sure thing.” 

They take their position near the front of the Volkswagen, standing side by side until Mina slides closer, wrapping her arms around Jinsol’s waist forcing Jinsol to sling her arm around Mina’s shoulder. They’re bodies are flush together, brilliant smiles to match as they look at the camera. Jinsol, without thinking much of it, presses a kiss to the side of Mina’s head. She feels Mina’s grip tighten ever so slightly. 

The farmer takes a few photos and then walks over to them to give the phone back. “Thank you so much, we appreciate it,” Mina says. 

“‘Course,” the farmer smiles, “You two make a lovely couple. Reminds of my daughter and her girlfriend. Have a nice day, and enjoy your trip.” 

He’s gone before either really can correct him. 

They avoid each other’s gazes for a moment, pink tinging their cheeks. Jinsol watches Mina step away from her, leaving her heart wrenching in her chest. She takes it that she’s uncomfortable and doesn’t bring it up as they walk back to the camper van. 

  
  


After a quick stop at the grocery store, they find a scenic rest stop to park for the night. Inside the camper van, Mina is cooking burgers while Jinsol reads on the bed. Music drifts from the portable speaker on the counter, softly playing the playlist Jinsol made for their roadtrip. She barely remembers what songs she put on it, but their ones that reminded her of Mina and their friendship; something nostalgic and everlasting. 

If she’s being honest, she hasn’t been reading her book at all. Her eyes have been fixed on Mina who’s muttering to herself about next steps for what she’s cooking. She refused to let Jinsol in the “kitchen” because, “You cooked almost every meal, it’s my turn now.” When she says meal, Jinsol knows she means the scrambled eggs and cup noodles. The only things Jinsol can really cook competently. Not for the lack of trying. Jinsol _has_ tried to learn from Mina, but it’s always ended in fires or charred food. 

Mina’s phone starts ringing. She checks the caller and then turns to Jinsol, “Can you take over for a minute, Nayeon’s facetiming me.” 

“Sure, but if a fire starts don’t blame me.” Jinsol sets her book down and takes Mina’s place. 

“Two more minutes and then you can take them off the pan,” instructs Mina. She softly thanks Jinsol and steps out the door of the camper van, snapping the screen curtain that they added back into place to keep the bugs out. Jinsol can see her out the window illuminated in the faint glow from the light inside the van. 

Not wanting to eavesdrop, Jinsol focuses back on the food in front of her, counting down until she can take them off the pan. Once she can, she places them on a plate and covers them so they stay warm. Without the sizzle of the burgers, it’s almost impossible not to overhear Mina outside. Nayeon’s laugh floats through the screen, followed by Mina’s sigh. 

“Nayeon, stop, you—” 

“ _I can’t, it’ll never work_ ,” Nayeon mocks. “Blah, blah, blah. Seriously, Mina, you’ve felt this way for _years_. You need to tell her.” 

_Tell who?_ Jinsol wonders.

“It’s not that simple.” 

“It _is_ that simple. You’re making it complicated.” Nayeon sighs, and Jinsol knows she’s somewhere back in California with Momo, Sooyoung, and Vivi. They’re all probably in the same room right now listening less discretely than Jinsol is, except they’re welcome to. It’s clear she shouldn’t be, but her curiosity is piqued. _What is Mina keeping from her and who does she have to tell?_

“She’s not—we’re not…. It’s not like that ,” Mina offers weakly. 

“Oh please,” a new voice says, it takes Jinsol a minute to register that it’s Sooyoung. The voice is garbled because Mina turned around and Jinsol only catches the end, “...I swear, but you’re too busy looking at her the same way to fucking notice.” 

“Give me the phone—” Nayeon’s voice comes back. “Sooyoung isn’t wrong, but you can’t wait forever, Mina. I love you so much, but you let this go on long enough. You’re moving across the country, the least you can do is _try_ one last time. What do you have to lose?” 

Jinsol’s stomach drops at the unwelcome reminder that at the end of all this Mina is leaving her. She keeps trying to forget, trying to push it away like she’s trying to push away the stupid butterflies in her chest whenever Mina looks at her. This whole trip is just an elaborate ruse to have Mina all to herself before she might never have her again. Whatever Mina is keeping from her doesn’t hurt nearly as much as the fact that she’s going to lose her all exclusive daily access to her. 

Mina turns back around and Jinsol throws herself onto the couch before she catches sight of her. She holds her book up and hums to the song that’s playing in the background. She peers around her book and catches Mina looking at her, so she smiles sweetly, mouthing that the food is done and turns back to her book. 

“Everything,” Mina says and then, “Enough of this, you can say hi to Sol, but then I’m hanging up.” Mina comes back into the camper van and hands Jinsol the phone. 

“Hi, Nayeon!” Jinsol grins and waves, “Where’s my annoying bestie?” 

“Bitch,” Sooyoung grumbles, but comes into view. “Why are you always so nice to her and not me?” 

“To be fair, I’m nicer to Momo and Vivi,” Jinsol says spying the two hiding in the background, probably not wanting to be involved. “I miss you all.” 

“You wouldn’t have to miss us if you let us come with you,” Nayeon says. 

“We didn’t want to get arrested in six different states,” Mina mutters. 

“I heard that!” 

“You were meant to,” Mina sticks her tongue out at Nayeon. 

“Have a fun date night,” Jinsol says to the four of them, preparing to hang up before Mina and Nayeon start bickering again. 

“You too,” Sooyoung winks and hangs up the call. 

“...they’re so annoying.” Mina takes her phone back and prepares their plates for them. Jinsol is still kind of frozen in place as she registers everything that she heard. She shouldn’t have. It was clear that conversation was personal, but what could be so personal Mina didn’t feel comfortable telling Jinsol? They’re best friends. They told each other everything. 

_Not everything._ Jinsol’s mind fills with the confused fluttering in her chest and the tightness in her lungs when Mina smiles at her. _Definitely not everything_. 

That night they fall asleep like they have every night before, wrapped up in each other. But something about it feels different. 

* * *

“Did you mean to pick a giant water tower as your stop?” Jinsol says as they approach the tower.

“It’s the world largest ketchup bottle!” Mina giggles, clearly amused with it. She smirks at Jinsol when they pull off onto the access road. “Have you ever seen a ketchup bottle that tall? _No_. You’re welcome.” 

Laughing, Jinsol turns off the engine and gets out of the car. They stand on the grassy patch beneath the water tower disguised as a ketchup bottle and crane their necks to get a view of it. “You drove us to Illinois to see a ketchup bottle.” 

“And you drove us to Montana to see mermaids.” 

“Mermaids are cool.” 

“So is this!” Mina huffs, playfully shoving Jinsol away. 

“They didn’t even spell ketchup right,” Jinsol points out. They walked a little further away from where they parked, along the sidewalk, until they could really see the water tower in all its glory. “Catsup. What’s up? Catsup.” 

“Ha-ha. You’re not funny,” Mina rolls her eyes, but smiles at the cheeky grin Jinsol sends her way. “It’s the old way of spelling it.” 

“And you know this because…?” 

“Because I knew you’d ask.”

They stand for a while, just staring up at this ketchup — catsup? — bottle, only the sound of cars speeding past disrupts their silence. Jinsol takes Mina’s hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. A thank you. She’s not sure what she’s thanking her for exactly. Taking the leap and going on this trip with her. For planning impulsively and at the spur of the moment. Jinsol knows that it’s hard for Mina to not know what’s coming next, and this road trip has turned into a series of unknown stops as they switch on and off picking the location. Maybe she’s just thankful to have a friend like Mina, someone who rolls with her ridiculous plans, who makes sure to have information at the ready because she knows Jinsol is going to ask and she wants to help her. But, really, Jinsol is just thankful that it’s Mina. That Mina is the one here with her, who has been here by her side this whole time. She’s not sure what’s going to happen at the end of this trip, she doesn’t know what Mina is keeping from her, but somehow standing in the shadow of this catsup — ketchup? Seriously, which is it? — bottle Jinsol doesn’t care. 

“Wanna have a picnic?” Mina asks suddenly. 

“Right here? On the side of the road?” 

“Well, maybe near the van, but yeah. Why not?” Mina turns to her, eyes shining like she’s discovered a secret. “It’s an adventure.” 

“The picnic is an adventure?” 

“No, well, yes,” Mina looks back up at the tower, “This trip is about trying new things, doing new things, things no one else has done, right?” 

“Right.” 

“So, why not a picnic under a ketchup bottle?” 

Jinsol feigns shock, placing a hand over her heart. “My goodness, Mina? Are you...are you abandoning your own plan for lunch? So _suddenly_?” 

Mina smiles, and oh god, Jinsol thinks her heart is going to burst out of her chest at how delicately she’s looking at her. “I am.” 

“To what do I owe this sudden burst of courage?” Jinsol teases, trying to dispel the fluttering feeling inside. 

“What can I say,” Mina tugs her forward, throwing a cheesy smile her way, “You make me feel brave.” And even though her tone is light, almost joking, Jinsol can tell the comment is genuine. 

Mina makes her feel brave, too. But the wave that crashes over her at the sound of those words is too much to take. Too much to process. She has all the pieces, all the dots, it’s more than enough to make a whole picture, but Jinsol refuses. The thought bubbles at the corner of her mind and she shoves it away. Again and again she shoves it away. 

“We’re at the world’s largest ketchup bottle, Mina, not the world’s largest block of cheese,” Jinsol rolls her eyes teasingly. “No need to be so _cheesy_.” 

“Puns are said to be the lowest level of wit.” 

“I know you cracked a smile.” 

“I never said that I believed that.” Mina lets go of Jinsol’s hand, spinning around to walk backward. Jinsol shakes her head, a warning on the tip of her tongue for her to be careful, but it gets caught in her throat. “Do we have stuff to make sandwiches?” 

“Yeah,” Jinsol nods, but her mind is elsewhere. More specifically, watching Mina walk cautiously backwards in strappy sandals and jeans that cut off above her ankle, hugging her hips snuggly. What really caught Jinsol’s eye, what she can’t believe she didn’t notice sooner, is the vintage band t-shirt she got at a thrift store a few years ago which is now hanging off Mina’s slender frame and tucked into the front of her pants. It’s baggy and littered with bleach stains and a few holes from getting caught on a fence once when she and Sooyoung were running from the campus police. Her t-shirt. Mina is wearing her t-shirt, which she rarely did, claiming Jinsol’s fashion was sloppy and she wouldn’t be caught in public wearing any of it. Yet here she is, showing it off to Jinsol with an impish grin like she’s been waiting for her to notice. The funny part is that Mina pulls it off. Somehow she turned this raggedy t-shirt into a piece of an outfit that looks straight out of an overly priced catalogue. But that’s her power, isn’t it? Turning rags to riches. She definitely makes Jinsol — messy, _messy_ Jinsol — feel like a million dollars whenever she’s around. 

“What?” ask Mina with a coy quirk of her brow. 

“Nothing,” Jinsol smiles. “My shirt looks good on you.” 

* * *

Jinsol had to call ahead for her pick. The location in Indiana actually sits on a person’s private property, but they let people come in to this tourist stop with advanced notice. The morning they were due to arrive there, Jinsol made sure Mina was wearing clothes she didn’t mind getting messy. 

“Messy?” Mina had asked. “I don’t own anything that I want dirty.” 

“Then borrow more of my clothes. You didn’t seem to mind doing that already,” Jinsol eyed the sweatshirt that Mina was practically drowning in that morning. She laughed at the blush that covered her face and tossed another shirt at her. 

Now, they stand outside of Michael’s house, the man who owns this tourist stop. He’s a sweet old man who had started this with his son in the 70s and kept it going with his family and strangers that wanted to join in. 

“We got a system that keeps you clean if you want to use it,” Michael gestures to the long poles of the paint rollers, “or the usual brushes if you don’t mind getting dirty. Up y’all of course. I set up the color you picked, Miss Jinsol. It’ll be the 24,664 coat of paint, so make sure you add that on at the end.” 

“Awesome,” Jinsol grins, “Thank you again for letting us into your home to do this.” 

“No, no, thank _you_ , I’m too old to be painting this shit anymore,” Michael chuckles. “I’ll come back and check on y’all in a little bit.”

When he leaves, Jinsol turns eagerly to Mina. “Isn’t this cool? It started as a baseball, Mina. A _baseball_. Now it’s like...two and a half tons or something!” 

“Our first interactive stop,” Mina laughs, hugging Jinsol’s side. “I see why I had to wear this. What color did you pick?”

“Purple, your favorite.” Jinsol picks up one roller and hands Mina the other. Mina dips the roller into the purple paint and rolls it over the massive ball in the middle of the room. Jinsol follows suit, shocked that the ball barely moves. It’s hung by an industrial hook from a steel beam across the ceiling. It’s not going anywhere. 

“You could’ve picked your favorite.” 

“Yeah, but purple is your color,” Jinsol grins devilishly, her fingers poised over the roller. “It just looks really good on you, you know?” 

Mina’s brows furrow and then her eyes widen as she catches on. She whips around, words dying on her lips as Jinsol spins the roller, spraying both of them in purple paint. Mina shrieks jumping back and glaring at Jinsol. 

“ _Jinsol_! I’m so getting you back for that.” 

“I’d like to see you try,” Jinsol taunts. She dodges the roller Mina thrusts at her and picks up a paint brush, gathering purple paint on it, she flicks her wrist. More paint flies through the air, dotting Mina’s face and hair in purple. “I always knew you were a work of art.” 

“You can’t flirt and attack me with paint at the same time.” Mina manages to connect her roller with Jinsol’s torso, rolling it up and covering her in a streak of paint. She grins, satisfied, and tilts her head in thought, “Huh, you know, purple’s not a bad color for you either. A far step from art, though.” 

“Oh, that’s it.” Jinsol dips her brush in paint again, preparing another attack, but nearly collides into Mina when she turns around. Their faces are a hair's breadth away and Jinsol wants to kiss her. 

_What?_ Jinsol reels backwards, nearly stepping into the paint tray but Mina wraps an arm around her waist, tugging her into her arms. 

“I can see y’all are enjoying yourselves,” Michael comments walking into the little shed that the ball is in. 

Mina sheepishly looks at him, letting Jinsol wiggle out of her embrace. “I’m sorry ‘bout the mess, Michael.” 

He waves her off, “Nonsense. Consider this your art studio for the time being. The whole place is covered in paint anyway. I’ll bring you girls some towels and water to rinse off with when you're done, no worries.” 

Mina and Michael chat for a few more minutes but Jinsol can’t hear anymore of it. Her mind is whirring with that single thought that broke through the barricade she had built in her mind. How did all of this change so suddenly? Two weeks ago they were just roommates living in California. They were best friends. Jinsol always saw Mina as a best friend...right? 

She can’t even trust her own mind anymore. 

“Sol, wanna finish painting this?” Mina gestures to the ball and Jinsol realizes Michael is no longer in the room. 

“Um, right, yes, let’s, uh...do that.” 

Mina scrunches up her face, stepping toward Jinsol with concern, “You feeling okay? Swallow too much paint?” She puts the back of her hand on Jinsol’s forehead testing the temperature. 

Jinsol swats her away, cheeks burning. “I didn’t swallow any paint.”

“Ah, must be the bitter taste of defeat then.” Mina smirks and gets back to painting without sparing Jinsol another glance. 

There’s no retort. No witty comeback, no volley of verbal jabs that are in good fun. All that Jinsol can do is stare at Mina. She’s singing to herself quietly, a small smile on her lips between verses or a laugh when she forgets the words. And Jinsol sees it, she can’t believe she ever missed it. Every moment with Mina flashes through her mind like a montage that she didn’t realize she still remembered, yet here they are, pointing to the one thing that Jinsol has been slowly realizing on their trip. 

Moments of fleeting looks and flutters in her stomach whenever Mina had been near. Of the shaky breath Mina would let out when she watched Jinsol bring home person after person knowing she’d have to hear Jinsol talk about them the next morning. Of the times Jinsol would crawl into bed with Mina late at night whenever a storm was particularly nasty and the wave of calm that washed over her as their legs tangled together and Mina would whisper stories that she’d make up on the spot until Jinsol fell asleep. 

She thinks of all the other people she had dated, that she had introduced to Mina, and how not a single one of those relationships lasted longer than a few weeks. Long enough for her to claim she grew bored of them or they felt more strongly toward her than she did to them or any other excuse in the book that Jinsol thought had been legitimate. The words Haseul said to her when they broke up echo in her head, “I think you might love someone else.” How stupid Jinsol was to not see it then, to only just now see that Haseul meant Mina. 

But right now as she looks into Mina’s dark eyes shining under the fluorescent of the room with purple paint on her face and hair, Jinsol realizes that none of those excuses were true. The real reason, the only reason, she had never pursued a relationship with anyone else is because of Mina. Because none of them were Mina and none of them would ever compare. How could she find a person, a relationship, that could come close to the one she has with Mina? She couldn’t. Doesn’t mean she didn’t try or that she didn’t bury these thoughts to the back of her mind because hoping for anything with Mina had seemed futile.

And now, now it’s just them, covered in paint and wide smiles somewhere in Indiana, painting a giant ball, and Jinsol sees it clear as day.

She’s in love with Mina. 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
> 
> ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96


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